State: Bloated. Risking yet another onslaught of palpitations. I guess my thighs and my heart are ganging up on me to stop eating.
If I'm not even half-arsed to write about being in New York City, I ain't arsed to write about the Happiest Day of My Life. There was a dress, a cake, a dog, a cat, a cup of 'cocoa' and, oh yeah, the sweetest 'Queen White' Audi Q7. Hiring the car (and the cute driver) was the only aspect of the wedding I truly had my foot down on and was prepared to get down to some Easter European ugliness in order to get it. Worked it out like a boss and enjoyed fighting my way out of its luxurious interior amidst a cloud of skirt on my way to the altar. Isn't it funny that altars were also sites of animal sacrifice to God and also how I just made that association? It might be funny to you but tell that to my youth.
To be continued....
The Woman.
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